Posts Tagged ‘B’ saved my life.

May 26, 2010

That’s what I hope to be able to say, years from now. Perhaps it already has. Allow me to explain:

There are lots of different kinds of people that are especially important to blogpologize to. There are also lots of different situations that particularly warrant sincere blogpology. And, much like stand up comedy, timing is crucial in the art of blogpology. Anyone with an accredited B.S. in Anthroblogpology will tell you that. If they don’t, check their degree. It’s probably a Bull Shit degree in Lie-ology, and it’s probably from an unaccredited school, or at best regionally accredited, like DeVry. And seriously, DeVry?

But there are special cases in which something as incredible as is absolutely necessary. For any lesser offense, you’re probably fine going with what I like to call a disposable “Saturday Night Special Tumblr account,” or Twitter, if you’re a girl.

So we take this blogpology equation (if you’re keeping track, blogpologies are an art, science, philosophy and math) …

Special Person (S) + Special Situation (U) + Timing (T) = Blogpology (B)

… and we fill in the variables with real-world values:

S = Dave

U = Double, and possibly triple, homicide

T = Right the fuck now, before it becomes triple

And we solve for B! The purpose of is to solve for B. Before Dave kills me, as well as his roommates.

Very possible.